Why Couldn't You Just Simply Say So?
“Who hears the rippling of rivers will not utterly despair of anything.”
We’ve all been there—unsure if we should say something, fearing our words might come across as flat, too blunt, or even a tad intrusive. Instead, we play detective, trying to decode what the other person is thinking from their facial expressions, the sound of their voice on the phone, social media posts, and any other clues we can gather.
Overthinking is like a hamster wheel for your brain—constant motion but going nowhere. We worry about how our words will land, which leads to mental paralysis and endless second-guessing. This not only stifles genuine communication but also locks us into a cycle of self-doubt.
The worst is that we probably know it all: that continuously analysing every possible outcome can crank up anxiety, that overthinking clouds our judgment, making it difficult to make clear, confident decisions and that by overanalysing, we may miss out on meaningful interactions and opportunities for growth.
If you see the pointlessness, it is because you discovered that a hamster wheel leads to feeling dizzy.
So you develop the skill of gently turning your attention away from upsetting thoughts toward the present moment. You know, the things you do: breathing deep and meditating.
Since you belong to that group of perfectionists, you repeat to yourself that no thought or action needs to be perfect, but you rarely allow yourself to think that if a thought has hit you, there is a reason for that. Is it a certain expectation you hold, an unfulfilled need, an insecurity, a memory, a feeling, or a belief that doesn’t want to be shaken?
Underneath all those personal thoughts lies a universal reservoir of wisdom. This is where those brilliant, effortless insights come from, like the “aha” moments in the shower.
Sure, you jump out straight away, wisely saving water, or you can stand there endlessly waiting for the water to finish.
But you could also follow Henry David Thoreau and stay open to hearing the rivers — your natural, spontaneous insights — and let them talk to you. Ask yourself: Why do I want to shun this thought? Why do I feel this way? Do I need to talk about it?
Sure, it can be just an unreasonable, sad or vicious thought that doesn’t need entertaining and can lead you instead to a spark of creativity, such as art, music, or writing; or a push for some physical activity.
But also, it can be a manifestation of your deeper needs and feelings, giving you a little push to communicate more effectively. Remember, it’s okay to sometimes think less but it’s also okay to get into a mood that will make you step back, reflect, question and make sense of you and the world around you.
