The truth about you is that...
A personal note by Anna Atsu
Grow up!
You are so childish!
Time to mature!
Time to become someone!
We often think of ourselves as “unfinished products” that need a lot of work put into, or a child that needs constant development to reach a certain point where can be called “mature” or “adult”.
I remember well how irritating it was for me as a teenager to hear “wiser” mature people projecting my life and telling me “When you will…”.
And sure, as much as I wanted to enjoy the moment and just “be,” I was doing the same, thinking of the present moment as a busy “waiting room” to maturity, dreaming of being in my thirties, so then I will know what I want from life.
Now in my late thirties, guess what?...
Don’t ask me if I've achieved the point in my life where I know who I am. As much as “When I Was Your Age” could be a recount of an interesting story, it often serves as a painful reminder that one hasn't achieved something suggested by their developmental age.
We feed young people with such stories only to hear later from our children impatient “When will I be …?” and reassure them that we love them just for who they are, not for who they will become. Isn’t that why we take photographs? To capture that “immaturity,” to hold onto that moment?
Isn’t it also true that we impatiently wait for children to start talking to express their needs, only to nostalgically remember a bit later when they were babies?
Yes, we work towards personal development, and we take two steps forward, one step back, or sometimes it's one step forward, two steps back.
The truth is, you will never grow up. And that's perfectly okay. In fact, it's more than okay—it's beautiful, it's human.
Growing up isn't a destination; it's a journey; it's a process of constant evolution, a series of moments strung together like pearls on a necklace, each one unique and precious in its own right.
We often place so much pressure on ourselves to reach some arbitrary notion of maturity, as if there's a finish line we must cross to earn our "adult" badge. But the truth is, there is no finish line. There is no grand ceremony where we suddenly become fully-formed adults, complete with all the answers and all the wisdom.
Instead, there are moments of growth, moments of learning, moments of stumbling and falling and getting back up again. There are moments of joy and moments of pain, moments of clarity and moments of confusion. And woven through it all is the beautiful, messy fabric of life, with all its imperfections and complexities.
So, rather than fixating on some distant ideal of maturity, perhaps we should embrace the journey itself—the messy, unpredictable, endlessly fascinating journey of becoming. Perhaps we should celebrate our imperfections, quirks, childlike wonder and curiosity. Perhaps we should recognise that growth isn't about reaching some final destination.
The truth is, we will never grow up. And thank goodness for that. For it is in our perpetual growth, our perpetual becoming, that we find the truth about ourselves.
Ps: So, today, I recognise that I'm sharing a personal self-comforting note.
Yes, we all have moments of pettiness and contradictions. It's part of what makes us human.
Depending on how you feel about yourself today, you might choose from three perspectives:
“So many people try to grow up too fast, and it’s not fun! You should stay a kid as long as possible!” — Vanessa Hudgens
“Never grow up”
“Do today what you have to do tomorrow” (Polish proverb)
Thank you for bringing this up. Recently I started to realise that people point to my age to tell me „well, you are not so young any more so…” and as long as it is child with ADHS who sees me enjoying myself on a trampoline and tells me that I am returning to my childhood, I don’t mind but adults suggest that at my age I should or shouldn’t…they are mean! I made some great progress that not many know about but we all are at different stages and there is no need to compare! Please create a series on YouTube!
Well written! As if it was a competition of how mature you should in your late thirties be… it’s not… it is a process, a journey! You are completely right!