I'm almost done with you!
Anna's Ultimate Guide for Dealing with All Internal Struggles
"I hate Mondays!", my sister lamented. The irony, my dear sister or brother, lies in the fact that Mondays often serve as the aftermath of unresolved issues from the preceding week. Allow me to narrate the chronicles of my Monday, a tale I find ‘essential lesson’, not for being ‘pain-free’ but for its evocation of the fundamental lessons we take in the very first moment we are born into this world…
As dawn broke on Monday, I revelled in the genuine delight that my ailment, addressed with over-the-counter remedies and resonance, was gradually receding. Alas, my joy was short-lived as later I discovered beads of sweat, being a sign of an escalating fever. In a self-admonishing whisper, I urged myself to emulate the patience bestowed upon me by doctors during their consultations while awaiting medical consultation:
“Be patient with the doctors the way they are patient with you, patient”.
Simultaneously, I found myself ensnared in a work call. I warned them after their conventional greeting that “I am not too well” before I was asked about some impossible, to just make their numbers.
I got the conversations I was making with myself and the one on the phone mixed up, because at that point I was held by strong pain, the pain I don’t wish even the worst enemy. Of course, you know, I don’t have enemies. There are only some people I wish to talk to less.
Amidst the haze of pain, I inadvertently blended my internal monologue with the external dialogue, as the intensity of agony distorted the boundaries between self-reflection and professional conversation.
"I am almost done with you."
"I am almost done with you", I declared, ostensibly addressing the pain but inadvertently directing my words to the individual responsible for settling my impending invoice for a contract on the brink of expiration. This verbal slip escaped repercussions, perhaps because I conversed with a discerning lady.
Ladies know that after receiving a warning, you don’t dwell on the choice of wording. They know that in pain we roar in the pursuit of relief.
In the throes of excruciating pain, one is susceptible to uttering sentiments unintended for the ears of the interlocutor, as the agony becomes the focal point of communication.
"Don't be misled by the magnitude of your internal strife," I caution;
The smaller the ‘object’ is, the harder it might be to get it out of the system.
Confront your pain; don't shy away from employing pain relief,
for it does not obliterate sensation but merely lifts the apex of suffering,
allowing for
a more composed demeanour in the aftermath.
Address your pain, and acknowledge its existence, and only then can you expel it, regardless of its size. Before obtaining authorisation for pain relief, internalise a crucial lesson: breathe. This elemental principle is instilled from the moment we enter this world, accompanied shortly thereafter by the imperative to cry as a means of catharsis.
Life imparts lessons from the outset;
it is wiser to learn from them than to apologise for tardiness.
As you patiently await pain relief, whether through an epidural, which I strongly recommend, or a simple glass of water to swallow a tablet, focus on your breath:
Utilise available resources—a bathtub, a bouncing ball, or simply a laughing gas—to alter your perspective, transforming the experience into one that is, if not romantic, at least amiable.
If one were to harbour disdain for any part of the week, it should be reserved for weekends, where the remnants of neglected tasks, from cleaning to personal organisation, demand attention. Confront your internal conflicts methodically rather than bemoaning the challenges of the coming days. Embrace the weekends as an opportunity for peaceful reconciliation.
When you are in strong pain, sharing your thoughts
with the wrong person
is akin to purposefully redirecting bullets meant for the target of your struggle—
back onto yourself.
Breath well!
Take distance.
Talk to friends who will assist you in lifting your pain.
Don’t mix up the internal dialogues with external conversations.
Be patient with your friends as they are patient with you.
If you can’t get ‘a head massage’ from a friend, at least make an appointment with a hairdresser. If you are to “hang around the barber shop for long enough” you will eventually get a haircut, you might only need to exercise more patience.
If you can’t talk to a friend, make an appointment with a therapist.
Don’t be afraid to face the pain. As we say in many languages: “fear has big eyes”. “Shake your finger at him”.
Find your ways to let the pain out. Take distance. It will be messy at first but you will get better as you will start to deal appropriately with your thoughts and feelings when the pain will be manageable.
A reasonable amount of pain is needed to deal with All Internal Struggles.
Tears come automatically as beads of sweat. Don’t stop them, anyway, I don’t think you can. Tears of pain often turn into laughter on the way and tears of joy in the end.
If you are reading this, you probably already helped me to lift my pain, even if you are not…
… a doctor, anaesthesiologist, nurse, midwife, paramedic or even a pharmacist lady handing water to drink the tablet.
So thank YOU!
Glossary:
Thank you for expressing what we all go through in way or another! 💙